A Family of His Own

It looks like Joey has found a family! His name says "On Hold" beside it!

New Link on Sidebar

I posted a link today for my step-sister's online business, Baby Uniques. Donna makes some really cure personalized gifts for babies. If you're looking for a unique gift for someone, check out her site. Below is a picture of some of the things she has made for Vera. V absolutely loves her tag blanket, and I absolutely love the wipes case!

Bo Bing

On Tuesday we celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival, always celebrated during a full moon. An explanation of the holiday from one of our friends: "On Monday we welcomed the moon, on Tuesday we enjoyed the moon, and on Wednesday we said good-bye to the moon."

A tradition is Xiamen (though not in other places in China) is to play a game called Bo Bing. It's a game where, depending on the roll of the dice, you can win various items for daily use. We played with the teachers in the program.

Roll no fours, get nothing.
Roll one four, get a small carton of milk.
Roll two fours, get a pack of tissues.
Roll three fours, get a bottle of body wash.
Roll a straight 1-6, get a box of laundry detergent.
Roll four fours or more, qualify for the grand prize, a bed quilt.
Roll four fives, and you beat four fours, unless the four fours were accompanied by two ones.
Roll six sixes and take home ALL of the prizes, yours AND everyone elses!
Roll so that one or more dice don't stay in the bowl, lose that turn and the next.
Roll away until all prizes have been claimed.

Here are some pictures from the excitement!


















I won some laundry detergent for this roll!


















Five fives! Our grand prize winner!


















Here is our collection of prizes that we won during Bo Bing at the orphanage, and that Matt won while playing at his company. He won the grand prize, the blanket!

One of Many In Need of a Family

I read this story online and wanted to share it. Please pass this story on. Maybe it will help this little guy find his family. The story can be found at http://lwbchinablog.blogspot.com/
Love Without Boundaries is an organization that provides for the medical care and nutrition of many babies in China. Here is the story of a little boy, "Joey", that they are trying to help. However, they are not trying to help him with surgery or nutrition. They are trying to find a family for him. He currently has a $3300 grant towards his adoption, though I have read that his agency has started collecting donations to increase that grant in hopes that it will help find his family.

His story...

There is a beautiful seven year old boy in Guangdong province who is in need of his own mom and dad to love him. His medical need is that he was burned as a child, but he has not let that stop him from going to kindergarten, making lots of friends, and charming the socks off of everyone who meets him. Right in his adoption file it says that he can make a friend out of anyone in 30 minutes flat. This little boy only has a few days left before his file is due to go back to China.....unchosen. Isn't that a horrible word? Unchosen. It is hard to believe that any child would have to carry that label.

This particular little boy weighs heavy on my heart tonight for a reason I want to explain. You see....his orphanage first contacted us to see if we could help him medically with his burns. But as soon as we heard about how smart he was and how personable, we convinced the orphanage that his real hope was in being adopted. The orphanage wasn't sure. They didn't think anyone would want to adopt an older boy, and one with burns on his body. But we assured them that somewhere there was a family waiting for a little boy just like him. And so the orphanage agreed. But then the province was also unsure, and so we once again said, "we know there will be a family". Finally his file was sent up to Beijing and then on to a US adoption agency. And no family has yet been found.

I think it is important for me to interject a story here, and my apologies to my friend Lisa for not getting her permission first to tell it. I hope she will forgive me. When I was first getting started with my work in China, one of the orphanages we helped did not do many special needs adoptions. They didn't think that the kids would be chosen, and so many of the children were getting older and watching only the healthy babies leave for their new homes. They would hear the aunties say to the babies, "oh today is a lucky day....you will have a family to love you." And the preschoolers and older kids would think to themselves....'it must be wonderful to have a family pick you.'

Well, we were going to do a heart surgery for one little girl in this orphanage, and so I asked for a photo of her so that we could raise funds. This orphanage didn't have a lot of nice clothing, so for this special photograph they wanted the little girl to look nice. Another little girl in the orphanage, named Yan, who was just three years old, had been given a beautiful red coat by a volunteer, and she loved that red coat and wore it all the time. The aunties went and took off her red coat to put on the child with heart disease for her photo, and Yan burst into tears crying. The aunties scolded her and said, "Yan, you must share your red coat...don't be selfish", but Yan kept crying and crying and kept trying to climb over the gate to get out in the hallway where the photo was being taken. Finally one aunty had heard enough, and so she walked over to Yan to take her back into the room. As she got closer, she realized that Yan was NOT crying because the other little girl was wearing her coat. No, not at all. Yan was crying while saying over and over, "take MY picture...please take MY picture. I want a family....take my picture so I can have a family, too. "

You see, at the ripe old age of three, Yan had already learned that the only way a baby got a family was by having her picture taken first. And she wanted a family of her own so badly, that she was crying to her aunties to please take her photo, too.

I wanted to share this story because the reason I am so sad that Joey hasn't found a home yet doesn't have anything to do with the fact that we told his orphanage a family would be found, or that we told provincial that certainly there was a family for him. I am sad thinking about Joey because I know exactly what happened when they prepared his adoption file earlier this year. I have been in orphanages when they do the files, and each and every time the aunties try to make the kids look at cute as possible. They say things like, 'smile pretty so a family will pick you." I am sad when I think about Joey's file, because I know he had probably gotten used to the idea that there would not be a family coming for him because of his burns....and then we went and placed hope back into his heart. I am sure he knew exactly why the orphanage was taking his photos that day, and I am sure the staff told him to look as handsome and clever as possible so that a family would choose him. Tonight I am thinking about this handsome little boy who is probably wondering each day now if his photo was good enough for a family to choose him.

So far.....no one has.

If you know anyone who might be open to adding a little boy to their family, please let them know about Joey. More information about him can be found here: http://www.swa.net/children.php

I still want to believe that there is someone out there who is wanting a little boy to love and read stories to. Surely there is someone out there who would want to teach him to fish, show him how to hit a baseball, and who would let him ride on their shoulders feeling like he was the king of the world. Surely somewhere there is a family who can give Joey the unbelievable gift of knowing he is CHOSEN, so that he can finally be home where he belongs.

Sleep Update

Vera went to sleep without a peep tonight. She has even let us sleep through the night for the last couple of nights. She has however formed a habit. During nap time and night time she's sleeping on the floor in front of the door. Tonight we quietly stood outside her door after turning off her light. About a minute later we heard her tiptoe over and lay down. :) Silly girl! A funny thing about this is that I remember sleeping on the floor outside of my bedroom for months when I was younger because it was closer to my parents than sleeping in my bed. I understand where she is coming from!

Here are some pics from the last few days.

Vera playing in her "new house". The cabinet has a door, but I removed it after she pinched her fingers a few times. Her "new house" is in the playroom.



















A couple of nights ago we had lots of dinner prep, so we tried to keep Vera happy while we were busy. When she started "painting" herself with yogurt, we didn't stop her.



















This picture was taken this morning. Her hair is finally long enough for real pigtails! She needs a little help from barrettes, but it stayed up all day long!

Vera and the Big Bed

Lots of people say Vera looks like her daddy, but there are definitely some things about her personality that are a lot like her mommy. Take for instance, sleep. She loves to sleep! She'll sleep twelve hours through the night no problem, and then sleep about two hours in the afternoon. We've never had a problem getting her to sleep. As a matter of fact, it used to be that when we told her it was time to go night night, she would happily run to her crib and try to climb in. That was before the move.

Now... She doesn't want to go to sleep. Once she is asleep, she likes to wake up a few hours later and scream. When I go get her, I'm commanded, "Mommy, lay down!" I lay down for a few minutes, try to get out of bed, another scream, "Mommy, lay down!" Last night this was the battle...for two hours! What did I finally do? Lay down. Not what I wanted. Can I blame her? When I was a little girl I remember falling asleep in my own bed, waking during the night, going to my mom's bed, and waking there the next morning. Can I blame her for wanting mommy by her side? I remember what it was like to crawl in the comfort and security of mom's bed. I understand! I think that's why it's so hard for me to not just lay down and rest peacefully by my side.

Well, after about an hour and a half of the screaming, we moved the crib back to her bedroom, put her in it, and came out to the living room to see what would happen next. She screamed. She screamed some more. Then, we realized the scream was getting closer...and closer...and CLOSER! There she was, standing next to us. The crib is now gone. Disassembled. Hoping for the day when another Snead can rest peacefully inside of those rails.

So, what did we do tonight. We put her in bed, told her we were turning out the light and closing the door. She screamed. She grabbed her pillow, her blanket, and her pacifiers and came to open the door which she can't open. After screaming, we heard through her cries, "Night night." She climbed into bed. A moment later, more screaming. Again she came to the door. Again, "Night night." A third time, the same thing. I just went in to check on her a few minutes ago. I couldn't get the door open! Yes, she's asleep with her pillow, her blanket, and her pacifiers in front of her bedroom door. I thought about moving her, but I figure it probably won't do any good. I'll just leave her there...until she wakes at 2:30...screaming. Tonight, however, I won't be awake for two hours. I won't sleep in her bed. I will stay strong...

...I hope.

Big Bed

Vera's sleeping in her big bed tonight. Sleep has been a BIG battle recently as most nights she wants to switch between the big bed and the crib. She almost always ends up in the crib, but we are tired of listening to her scream as she changes her mind over and over. Don't worry! We don't move her over and over. After a time or two we realized it was just a game...a way to get more attention. Instead, we just put her down over and over telling her it's time to go night night. So, we moved the crib out of Vera's room and tonight she didn't have a choice. She's in the big bed. After reading her good-night story in the big bed, she pointed over to where the crib used to be: "Huh? Where is it?" She got upset for a few minutes, but we haven't heard from her in a while. She must be sleeping soundly in the big bed.

We are staying busy here. It seems like once one visitor leaves, someone else comes into town. We've had lots of trips to the same tourist spots, as well as lots of tours and presentations about our work here.

I've been able to continue with the therapy for the club feet babies. Today I was working with the one who was most severe, and felt so proud that her feet have made HUGE progress in the month we've been working with her. It's going to be so exciting to watch these babes grow and be able to walk like a "normal" baby. Also today as I was working with her, another baby, probably a little over a year, comes over, leans on me, and says, "Mama." Break my heart! Each time she did it, a little girl that's just older than Vera would say, "Ayi (Auntie)." I think she was trying to say, "Don't you know she's not your momma. She's just an ayi!" It's been fun to get to know the other babies and ayis as I spend time doing therapy with the club feet babes.

Matt and I are getting ready to waste some time here on Friday night watching pirated TV shows from America!